Метка: 10 yo

Время на прочтение: 2 минут(ы)

Is your son glued to his phone and not noticing anything around him? Even when you call him for dinner, does it feel like your words just vanish into the air? Stay calm and read on! Getting your child off their screen is totally possible—and you can do it without drama. The key is knowing the right approach.

⚡ Why Is It Important?

Studies show that 10-year-old children who spend more than 3 hours a day on screens (outside of schoolwork) are more likely to experience:

• Issues with Sleep
• Difficulty concentrating
• Lower levels of physical activity

🧠 Why Is It So Hard to Break Away From the Screen?

When we watch something exciting or scroll through an endless social media feed, our brain goes through a powerful biochemical process. Neurotransmitters like dopamine (the hormone that controls pleasure and motivation) and serotonin (which makes us feel satisfied) are released.

Normally, these chemicals are released gradually, like when we finish a challenging task or enjoy a nice meal. But with extended screen time, the brain starts working in an unfamiliar way as dopamine and serotonin are released in larger amounts and stay for longer periods. This makes it much harder to stop watching, as the brain gets «addicted» to the constant reward.

You’ve probably experienced it yourself. Maybe you promise to watch just one episode of a show but end up glued to the screen for hours. For kids, managing this process is even harder. They’re still learning self-control, so getting them off the screen without any prep can be a real challenge.

💡 What Can You Do?

Try Negotiating

A strict ban is likely to lead to a tantrum. Instead, try talking about the rules together. For example, set a «digital curfew»—no screens after 8:00 PM.

Screen Time Break = Reward

Turn limiting screen time into a game. For instance, after each day of minimal screen use, your child earns points they can trade for something they want.

Offer Distractions

It’s tough to monitor your child’s screen time when you’re busy with work. One solution is to leave instructions with requests or ideas. For example: “Dear son, can you come up with and draw five activities you love doing in your free time?”

Remember: It’s a process, not a battle. With patience, consistency, and a little creativity, you can help your daughter build a healthier relationship with screens—without the drama.

Cover image: Tania Kolinko/Shutterstock

Время на прочтение: 2 минут(ы)

Does your daughter get completely absorbed in her phone, ignoring everything around her? Does a call for dinner feel like an echo in an empty room? Stay calm and read on. There’s a way to break the screen spell without meltdowns. The key is knowing the right approach.

⚡ Why Does It Matter?

Studies show that 10-year-old children who spend more than 3 hours a day on screens (outside of schoolwork) are more likely to experience:

• Sleep disturbances
• Difficulty concentrating
• Lower levels of physical activity

🧠 Why Is It So Hard to Break Away From the Screen?

When we watch something exciting or scroll through an endless social media feed, our brain goes through a powerful biochemical process. Neurotransmitters like dopamine (the hormone that controls pleasure and motivation) and serotonin (which makes us feel satisfied) are released.

Normally, these chemicals are released gradually, like when we finish a challenging task or enjoy a nice meal. But with extended screen time, the brain starts working in an unfamiliar way as dopamine and serotonin are released in larger amounts and stay for longer periods. This makes it much harder to stop watching, as the brain gets «addicted» to the constant feeling of being rewarded.

You’ve probably experienced it yourself: you promise to watch just one episode, but end up glued to the screen for hours. For kids, managing this process is even harder. They’re still learning self-control, so getting them off the screen without preparation can be a real challenge.

💡 What Can You Do?

Try Negotiating

A strict ban is likely to lead to a tantrum. Instead, try talking about the rules together. For example, set a «digital curfew»—no screens after 8:00 PM.

Screen Time Break = Reward

Turn limiting screen time into a game. For instance, after each day of minimal screen use, your child earns points they can trade for something they want.

Offer Distractions

It’s tough to monitor your child’s screen time when you’re busy with work. One solution is to leave instructions with requests or ideas. For example, «Hey, sweetheart! Can you come up with and draw five fun activities you enjoy doing in your free time?» This encourages her to think beyond screens while feeling involved and valued.

Remember: It’s a process, not a battle. With patience, consistency, and a little creativity, you can help your daughter build a healthier relationship with screens without the drama.

Cover image: A.Ozerova/Shutterstock

Время на прочтение: 2 минут(ы)

Lying is a way for children to test the world’s boundaries. It’s also a way to protect themselves. Sometimes, kids lie to avoid a fight with parents, sometimes to impress others, and sometimes simply because it’s more fun to embellish. These are referred to as “anti-social” lies. Sometimes, kids lie to save another person’s feelings, and these are known as “pro-social” lies. This isn’t always a conscious manipulation. Reading this, it may come as no surprise that lying is actually very common for kids.

👅 Reasons Why Children Lie

• Afraid of Punishment: If they’re punished for every mistake, it’s only natural that they’ll try to hide it.
• Want to Appear Better: Sometimes, lying isn’t about deceit but about wanting to be seen as more interesting, cooler, or more successful.
• Testing Boundaries: “What if parents don’t notice?” Ten-year-olds love experimenting with the truth to see what happens.
• Protecting Themselves: Kids sometimes lie to cover up fears, mistakes, or awkward situations.
• Kindness to Others: Children this age have actually learned that sometimes telling a lie can avoid hurting someone’s feelings: “I love the sweater you knitted me, Grandma” when they have no intention of wearing it.

😞 What to Do?

• Don’t Conduct an Interrogation: Instead of saying, “You lied again?!” try, “I think you might have stretched the truth. Can you tell me what really happened?”
• Show That Honesty Is Safer: If the child knows that honesty won’t lead to punishment, they’re less likely to lie.
• Teach That Honesty Matters More Than a Perfect Image: If lying is connected to wanting to appear better, help your child feel valuable just as they are.
• Praise Honesty: Point out the positive moments when your child tells the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable.
• Use Pro-Social Lies Sparingly: While it’s acceptable to be polite in some situations, it’s also important for children to know they can express their true feelings.

🚩 When Should You Be Concerned?

If lying becomes a consistent pattern, especially anti-social lies, and if your child becomes withdrawn, anxious, aggressive, or enters a phase of complete denial, it’s best to consult with a professional.

But in most cases, lying is simply part of growing up. The child is figuring out who they are, and it’s important for parents not to crush their self-esteem but to help them navigate the world and themselves. And take heart, almost all kids grow out of lying when supported in this way!

References:

1. A Parent’s Guide to Lying and Age-Appropriate Consequences. Parents.com
2. Why Kids Lie and What Parents Can Do About It. Child Mind Institute
3. Xu, F., Bao, X., Fu, G., Talwar, V., & Lee, K. (2010). Lying and truth‐telling in children: From concept to action. Child Development, 81(2), 581-596.

Время на прочтение: 2 минут(ы)

At 10, children feel like they’re already grown up. They crave more freedom, but the rules are still set by their parents. As a result, they experiment with new strategies: arguing, snapping back, and being cheeky. This isn’t because they’ve become rude, but because they’re learning and striving to be independent.

👅 Why Is the Child Snapping Back?

This behavior is often an attempt to establish boundaries, defend their opinion, or express emotions that they can’t yet control. Sometimes, it’s a response to stress or exhaustion, or simply frustration with the parent interfering at the wrong moment. These interactions can seem more heated than when they were younger.

Reasons a child may begin to speak rudely:

• Trying to Be Independent: They used to stomp their feet and cry, but now they experiment with tone, sarcasm, and gestures to get what they want or prove they’re right.
• Emotionally Overloaded: School, friends, hormonal changes, the desire to be «cool»—all of these accumulate and may explode in the form of sharp words.
• Can’t Find Another Way to Protest: When their opinions are ignored or decisions are made without their input, their only option may be resistance.
• Imitating Adults: The child may simply be mimicking what they’ve heard or seen from friends, older siblings, movie characters, or even parents.

🧘🏻‍♀️ How to React?

When your child responds with sarcasm or anger, your first reaction may be to respond in the same way. However, if the goal is to avoid escalating the conflict and to understand the root causes of this behavior, it’s better to choose different actions:

• Avoid Arguing Back: Responding to rudeness with rudeness is the worst option. Let them know that while you hear them, this kind of communication is not acceptable.
• Discuss Instead of Commanding: The less strict control, the fewer reasons for protest. Instead of saying, “You will do what we told you,” try saying, “Let’s talk about how we can solve this.”
• Set an Example: If you want your child to speak to you respectfully, check how your own words sound when directed at them.
• Give Choices: The more opportunities the child has to make age-appropriate decisions, the less likely they are to argue for the sake of it.

Pre-adolescence is a time when children search for their place in the world, what their purpose is in life, and experiment with new behavior models. Snapping back and arguing are part of this process. It’s important to remember that behind the rude words, there’s often a need to be heard and understood. Having a close, loving relationship with parents is still very important to 10-year-olds, even if it seems to be taking a vacation on some days! Support, respect, and willingness to communicate will help you navigate this phase, strengthening trust and mutual understanding in your family.

References:

1. Disrespectful Child Behavior: Where to Draw the Line. Empowering Parents
2. Drawing the Line: Tips to Handle Angry Disrespectful Child Behaviour. Psy-Ed
3. Hill, P. L., Schultz, L. H., Jackson, J. J., & Andrews, J. A. (2019). Parent-child conflict during elementary school as a longitudinal predictor of sense of purpose in emerging adulthood. Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 48, 145-153.

Время на прочтение: 3 минут(ы)

Ten years old is a time of significant change in a boy’s life. It’s important for parents to understand the features of his development so they can support and guide him through this critical phase.

✅ Physical Development: A New Level of Energy

At 10, boys may experience a sudden growth spurt, or they may remain shorter than their peers. Both outcomes are normal.

WHO Data:

• Average height: 4’5″–4’9″ (135–150 cm)
• Weight: 62–90 lbs (28–41 kg)

Boys begin to develop muscle mass, and their bodies start to become more angular. In some cases, they may notice the first hint of facial hair. They may also experience oilier skin and acne, which can be a cause of embarrassment for many kids.

If your child differs from his peers in size or growth, there’s no need to worry immediately. But if he feels self-conscious about his appearance, it’s important to provide reassurance rather than brushing it off with comments like “You’ll catch up later.”

🤯 Psychology of a 10-Year-Old: Who Am I and Where Do I Belong?

This age marks the beginning of the end of childhood. The interest in games is still there, but your son is starting to think like a teenager. He’s in the in-between “tween” stage. He is:

• Becoming more independent. He may demand more personal space and share fewer of his thoughts and feelings.
• Testing boundaries. He may argue, snap back, and try to act tougher or more rebellious.
• Beginning to understand his masculinity. Questions like “What does it mean to be a man?” and “Who am I?” become important, even if he doesn’t express them out loud. He may also experience his first crush.

Yesterday, he could have spent hours with his parents, but today, he’s running off to hang out with his friends and gets upset if asked to share details about his day. This is normal: he’s learning to be an individual.

You’ll also face a new level of arguments: not just “I don’t want to eat my cereal,” but “Why should I eat it at all? You’re always on my back!” Your usual “Because I said so” won’t be effective anymore. You’ll need to keep your cool and practice your skills in having logical, respectful discussions.

Even if it seems early, this is a good time to begin conversations about how to treat romantic partners, as well as preparing him for the more physical aspects of relationships in the future–in an age-appropriate manner, of course.

Is it challenging? Yes. But also exciting because right now, you’re witnessing the formation of your son’s own opinions!

😣 Emotions: Don’t Try to Guess What’s Going on in His Head

One of the key characteristics of 10-year-old boys is their contrasting behavior. One day he’s cheerful, the next day he’s irritable. One moment, he wants to hug you; the next, he’ll be angry if you touch him.

What should you do?

• Give him space. Don’t press him with questions like “What happened?” if he’s not ready to talk.
• Teach him to express his emotions. At this age, many boys are told that “boys don’t cry,” which is harmful. Let him know that it’s okay to feel angry, sad, or scared.
• Support him instead of only criticizing. He gets enough with grades and judgments at school. At home, he should feel valued for who he is, not just for his successes.

🤝 Friendships, Role Models, and the Desire to Fit In

At 10, friendship becomes more complex. What was once simple—“We’re playing together, so we’re friends”—now has a deeper meaning.

• The influence of friends grows stronger. Sometimes your son will listen to his friends more than to you.
• He may suddenly change his style of dress, behaviors, or interests because it’s what’s “cool” in his peer group.
• A sense of fairness develops. Boys start thinking seriously about what’s right and wrong.

Don’t be surprised if your son starts challenging rules, talking about fairness, and arguing with teachers. This isn’t rebellion; it’s part of growing up. That said, it’s an ideal time to help him learn how to express himself with confidence, while still being respectful.

🚩 Red Flags for Parents

There are situations when you should be concerned. If your son:

• Deliberately harms himself (e.g., biting nails until they bleed, cutting his skin).
• Loses interest in things that once made him happy.
• Is constantly sad, withdrawn, and doesn’t want to socialize.
• Experiences sudden weight loss or gain for no clear reason.
• Shows aggression, especially toward animals or younger children.

In these cases, it’s best not to wait—seek advice from a pediatrician or child psychologist.

References:

1. Your Child’s Development From 6 to 12 Years. Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center
2. 10-Year-Old Development Milestones. WebMD
3. Child Growth Standards. WHO
4. Way, N., Cressen, J., Bodian, S., Preston, J., Nelson, J., & Hughes, D. (2014). “It might be nice to be a girl. Then you wouldn’t have to be emotionless”: Boys’ resistance to norms of masculinity during adolescence. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 15(3), 241.

Время на прочтение: 4 минут(ы)

Ten years old is when everything may suddenly seem too big: emotions, fears, and dreams. How can you help a girl navigate this phase? The most important thing is to not interfere with her becoming herself. And also, to understand what’s happening to her so she can feel loved and supported.

📏 Physical Development: Changes Are Normal

By this age, some girls begin to notice that clothes fit differently, and their bodies are changing. It’s important to explain: yes, changes are inevitable, but there’s nothing to be afraid of.

• Growth and Shape. At 10, girls experience a growth spurt that often precedes muscle development, so they may feel clumsy and self-conscious. The average height is 4’5″–4’9″ (135–150 cm), and weight is around 62–90 lbs (28–41 kg), but genetics plays a big role here.
• Puberty Starts. Breasts begin to develop, and the first acne may appear. Menstruation could be in the next year or just months away. It’s time to talk to your daughter and gently explain what’s happening.
• Emotions and Hormones. Rapid mood swings are not just tantrums but the result of hormonal changes. It’s important that your daughter understands that she’s not alone in this and that everything is okay.

If changes seem too fast or too slow, it might be worth discussing them with a pediatrician or endocrinologist.

🤯 Psychology of a 10-Year-Old: The Calm Is Over

Ten is a mini-teenage age. It’s often referred to as the tween years. Your daughter is no longer a little girl, but she’s not yet a teenager. You may notice that the girl who once loved spending evenings with her parents now slams doors and says she has “her own stuff to do.”

What’s happening psychologically:

• Exploring Boundaries. She’s beginning to experiment with even more independence: Can she go to bed later? Choose her own clothes? Argue with adults? (Spoiler: Yes, she’ll try all of these.)
• First Crush. Even if it’s just a crush on a blogger, it’s still her first experience with affection.
• Increased Anxiety. Questions about appearance and social status rise to the forefront: “Am I pretty?”, “What if they’re laughing at me?” These worries are normal at this age.
• Sudden Emotions. One day, it’s tears; the next day, laughter, and then a storm of anger over your tone. It’s crucial not to belittle her feelings. Phrases like “Why are you crying over nothing?” don’t work and can alienate her. Instead, try asking: “Are you feeling sad? Do you want to talk about it or just be alone for a while?”

You’ll also experience a new level of arguments: not just “I don’t want to eat my porridge,” but “Why should I eat it at all? I’m NOT hungry!” Keep in mind that your usual “because I said so” approach won’t be effective anymore. You’ll need to up your game to have logical, respectful discussions.

Is it tough? Yes. But it’s also exciting because you’re watching her develop her own opinions!

💡 Big Questions and Self-Discovery

At 10, girls’ thinking becomes more mature. They begin to analyze, look for patterns, and draw their own conclusions (sometimes not in your favor).

What interests them:

• Books and new knowledge, especially if the topic aligns with their interests.
• Puzzles, strategies, and projects that allow them to show their logic and creativity.
• Thinking about the future. What do they want to do? Where will they be in 10 years?

At this age, there may be a sudden shift in interests. Yesterday, your daughter wanted to be a writer, today she wants to be an actress, and tomorrow a graphic designer. This doesn’t mean she’s unserious or “faking it.” It means she’s sampling the world.

It’s essential to support her search but never pressure her. If she’s into comics, that’s growth, even if you think she should be reading Shakespeare instead.

😥 Emotions and Self-Esteem: It’s Complicated

Ten-year-old girls are a mix of confidence and doubt. Yesterday, she felt like a queen, and today, she hates her reflection in the mirror.

Girls at this age are typically:

• Sensitive to criticism. One careless comment, and she might burst into tears, feeling like “I’m ugly.”
• Developing their self-esteem. It’s important for her to hear that she’s valued not just for grades or tidiness, but just for being her (and that’s the truth—say it often!).
• Seeking independence. She wants more personal space. Yes, sometimes a closed door doesn’t mean she’s hiding secrets from you, but just that she needs some time alone.

The best thing you can do is show her that her opinion matters. Ask her questions like, “What do you think?” or “What would you do?” Such conversations teach her to value herself. They can also help stem the tide of social media and marketing messages targeting tween girls that can make them feel inadequate.

🤝 Friendships, Social Media, and Peer Influence

At 10, a girl may start believing that being alone is something to be ashamed of, that it means she’s not popular enough. Her friends become more important than family, and her peers’ opinions begin to feel like law.

At this age, girls begin to:

• Look for “their people.” She’s learning how to make longer-term friends, argue, make up, and read people.
• Get into social media and follow influencers. If she’s not on TikTok, she’s probably spending time on YouTube or browsing memes on social media platforms like Facebook.
• Show an interest in fashion. Expressing herself through clothes is a form of self-identity, not just a whim.

Don’t criticize her tastes! If she thinks low-rise pants are stylish, let her wear them. (You wore strange things when you were her age, right?)

Get to know her friends—let her invite them over, show up at their events to support them. Just keep in mind that you’re giving her an opportunity to build these relationships, not trying to control them. Also, she may seem very savvy when it comes to technology, but she still needs boundaries and to learn how to stay safe online.

🚩 Red Flags for Parents

There are situations when you should be concerned. If your daughter:

• Deliberately harms herself (e.g., biting nails until they bleed, cutting her skin).
• Loses interest in things that used to excite her.
• Constantly feels sad, withdraws, and doesn’t want to communicate.
• Experiences rapid weight loss or gain for no apparent reason.
• Shows aggression, especially toward animals or younger children.

In these cases, it’s better not to wait and to seek advice from a pediatrician or child psychologist.

References:

1. Your Child’s Development From 6 to 12 Years. Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center
2. 10-Year-Old Development Milestones. WebMD
3. Child Growth Standards. WHO
4. MacDonald, F. (2016). Childhood and tween girl culture. London, UK: Macmillan Publishers.

Время на прочтение: 4 минут(ы)

At 10, girls are eager to be grown-up but still can love playing with dolls (and that’s perfectly fine!). Your daughter views the world with excitement but sometimes hides under the blanket when life get overwhelming. At this age, it’s especially important to try new things, discover herself, and take the first steps toward independence. The role of parents is not to push or rush, but to offer ideas that could spark her interest.

🤸 1. Move More

Not everyone loves running in gym class, but movement is essential for optimal development (physical, cognitive, and emotional)—at her own pace. If your daughter loves energy and excitement, sign her up for dance or gymnastics. If she loves water, take her swimming. If she enjoys being in a group and feeling the team spirit, volleyball or even soccer could be perfect (and don’t let anyone tell you, or her, it’s a “boys’ sport”). Find something that makes her eyes light up and that she can’t wait to do!

💡 2. Learn to Find Her Voice

At 10, girls are keen to express themselves. This can be supported by drama classes, where she can try different roles. Blogging or a stand-up comedy session in front of the family are great, too. Or, maybe she’ll find her voice in a literary club where she can write stories and even get them published. The key is to let her know her voice matters and it should be heard.

🎨 3. Get Creative Without Limits

Drawing, music, sewing, sculpting—what doesn’t matter is the medium, just that it’s fun and supports creativity. Some may want to draw comics, others might enjoy making animations on their phone, or creating outfits and upcycling old clothes. Don’t box creativity into rigid rules, or it will lose its spark.

📚 4. Learn in Her Own Way

School is one thing, but a genuine interest in learning is quite another. It comes when there’s less pressure. Let your daughter read books that truly interest her (and if they’re fanfics instead of classics, that’s okay!). Let her learn languages through movies and music. Let her explore chemistry not through textbooks but with kitchen experiments. Letting her learn in her own way shows her she is valuable just as she is!

🧠 5. Understand How Her Body Works (And Don’t Fall for Myths)

At 10, physical changes start happening, and a million questions arise. Why do some girls already wear a bra while others don’t? Why do some kids seem to be popular, while others feel lonely—is it how they look?

It’s good if there’s an adult around to explain everything calmly and appropriately. You can also suggest watching educational videos or reading books like What’s Happening to My Body? because knowledge is always better than scary myths from the internet or from other kids who don’t always have the facts.

🤓 6. Do Things on Her Own

You can teach your daughter to cook simple meals—not just so that she can help out at home, but so she feels more confident in being independent. Give her more freedom in choosing her clothes—let her experiment with style, not just listen to your advice or compare herself to others. You could also suggest getting a houseplant to take care of (if it survives, great; if not, it’s still a valuable lesson).

🤗 7. Step Outside the House (And the Comfort Zone)

Hiking, trips, park walks—the more your daughter sees and experiences, the better. You can plant flowers or vegetables together in the garden, participate in local eco-projects, or simply take a camera on a walk to capture interesting details. The world is much bigger than the usual home-school-home route! Broadening her horizons can build not just physical skills but also self-confidence!

🤖 8. Learn to Use Technology Productively

Screen time isn’t always bad. Your daughter can learn to program, edit videos, or draw on a tablet. She could explore 3D modeling or dive into photo editing. The key is not to ban gadgets but to show her how to use them productively and safely. A helpful rule of thumb when it comes to technology—create more than you consume.

💁🏻‍♀️ 9. Discover Different Women’s Stories

Not just princesses and superheroes, but also artists, scientists, and explorers. Let your daughter see that girls/women can be anything they want and choose any path that speaks to them! Movies and books are great for this. Also, consider taking her to lectures by such women and encourage her to chat with the presenter.

🧑‍🔬 10. Experiment with Different Professions

Let her try being a journalist (interviewing relatives), a director (filming short movies), a fashion designer (sketching or combining outfits from her wardrobe), and more. The more professions she “tries on,” even in a fun way, the more confident she’ll feel when it comes to making real career decisions.

Being a Girl Is About Possibilities, Not Limitations

The most important thing you can give a 10-year-old girl is confidence in herself. That she can be different. That she is unique and one-of-a-kind. That being passionate about science is as normal as loving fashion. That she can wear dresses and climb trees. That she can be brave, smart, funny, thoughtful, sporty, creative—and it’s all “feminine.” Simply because it’s her choice!

References:

1. Your Child’s Development From 6 to 12 Years. Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center
2. How to Promote Cognitive Development: 23 Activities & Games. Positive Psychology
3. MacDonald, F. (2016). Childhood and Tween Girl Culture. London, UK: Macmillan Publishers Ltd.
4. Bulimwengu, A. S., & Cartmel, J. (2022). The tween years: A systematic literature review for services for children aged 10–13 years. Heliyon, 8 (1).
5. Janssen, I., Ferrao, T., & King, N. (2016). Individual, family, and neighborhood correlates of independent mobility among 7 to 11-year-olds. Preventive Medicine Reports, 3, 98-102.

Cover image: A.Ozerova/Shutterstock

Время на прочтение: 3 минут(ы)

At 10, boys are actively exploring the world and developing their interests and skills. Here are some ideas to help your son grow, develop, and thrive.

🤸 1. Get Moving

Sports aren’t just about staying healthy—it’s also a great way to teach confidence, discipline, and the ability to lose graciously but without giving up. The key is not to force your son into a sport you like. Let him try different things: team games, martial arts, skateboarding, or even parkour. If his eyes light up and he is eager to participate routinely, you’ve found the one!

🎨 2. Express Emotions Through Creativity

Drawing comics, drumming on anything that makes noise, sculpting with clay, or building car models—all these activities are more than just fun; they’re ways to express feelings. Sometimes, it’s easier to draw something than explain it in words. Plus, even adults love getting creative after a long day, so why shouldn’t your son do the same? Let him explore anything that helps him release emotions and recharge his positivity!

🦸 3. Develop Thinking Without Boredom

Puzzles, chess, books—they’re all classics. But there are unexpected ways to boost intellectual skills, too: let your son try designing games in Roblox or building complex structures in Minecraft. Or have him solve logic puzzles that seem like magic (like how to crack a code without a key).

🧑‍🔬 4. Explore Science Through Experiments

Create a volcano with baking soda and vinegar, grow crystals, or make a potato lamp—science doesn’t have to be boring. If possible, take him to a science museum or sign him up for a young scientist club. Experiments are great for teaching cause-and-effect, a lesson that can be applied across many aspects of life!

⚽ 5. Spend More Time Outdoors

Nature is the best free stress reliever. Bike rides, fishing, forest navigation, or just running with the dog in the park—all these are great ways to build endurance and learn to enjoy the real world, not just the virtual one.

🤖 6. Build Things with His Hands

Building a birdhouse, a simple electrical circuit, or a robot from a kit—the feeling of «I did this myself» is priceless. Sometimes, creating something with his own hands will give him more confidence than thousands of words of encouragement.

🎲 7. Play (Even Video Games!)

Games can be positive, especially when approached mindfully. Many games improve reaction time, logic, and strategic thinking, and some even teach teamwork. Just don’t let gaming turn into an uncontrolled marathon. Setting boundaries together and sticking to them can keep things in balance; particularly important around technology.

Let your son try games that make him think, such as:

• The Witness (logic and spatial thinking)
• Portal 2 (physics and teamwork)
• Cities: Skylines (planning and resource management)
• Civilization VI (strategy and history basics)
• Minecraft (Education Edition) (creativity and programming)

🧠 8. Analyze Information

One of the most valuable skills today is the ability to efficiently search for and, most importantly, verify information–also known as media literacy. Turn this into a game and train your son: ask any question (e.g., “Why does the moon change shape?”) and have him find the answer, checking sources and separating facts from opinions.

📚 9. Learn About the World Through Movies and Books

Back to the Future, Star Wars, Indiana Jones, or The Jungle Book—let him watch and read age-appropriate stories about adventure, friendship, resourcefulness, and solving tough situations. This is also a great opportunity to then have conversations with your son about the lessons contained in movies and books.

🏕️ 10. Try Something “Adult”

Real fishing, hiking, volunteering for a community project, or even taking a trip to a new city without parents—your son needs to feel like he’s not just a child but becoming a young adult, too. It will be important to be sure he understands that such activities mean he needs to be more aware to stay safe, so be sure to talk through these aspects—without being too overprotective or ‘bossy’.

Support is Key

Growing up and developing isn’t a competition to see whose child is «cooler.» Let your son choose what interests him, and your role is to support him and not criticize his mistakes. After all, it’s through those mistakes that he’ll learn the most important lesson—understanding himself and the world around him.

References:

1. Your Child’s Development From 6 to 12 Years. Memorial Sloan Kettering Cancer Center
2. Activities For 7 To 11 Years Old: Engaging And Educational Fun. Healthy Young Minds
3. How to Promote Cognitive Development: 23 Activities & Games. Positive Psychology
4. Bulimwengu, A. S., & Cartmel, J. (2022). The tween years: A systematic literature review for services for children aged 10–13 years. Heliyon, 8 (1).
5. Janssen, I., Ferrao, T., & King, N. (2016). Individual, family, and neighborhood correlates of independent mobility among 7 to 11-year-olds. Preventive Medicine Reports, 3, 98–102.

Cover image: Pavel L Photo and Video/Shutterstock

Время на прочтение: 3 минут(ы)

The age of ten isn’t just a number—it’s a whole era of change. Your little girl, who was once content with simple toys, is now interested in the latest fashion trends, is forming her first real and lasting friendships, and may even be texting or chatting about things you know little about. How can you stay connected with your daughter and help her grow up confident in herself?

😣 1. Give Her the Right to Feel All Emotions

«Don’t cry,» «Stop being dramatic,» «You’re overreacting»—these phrases don’t help your daughter understand her feelings better. They can also promote negative stereotypes about females. Instead of blocking her emotions, teach her how to express them in a healthy way. If she’s angry, encourage her to tell you what’s bothering her rather than slamming doors. If she’s sad, let her share her feelings instead of shutting down.

A great practice is naming emotions aloud: talk about different feelings; how they show up through feelings, thoughts, and physically; and what to do about them. The better she understands herself, the easier it will be for her to manage her emotions.

🗣️ 2. Speak to Her as an Equal

Don’t dismiss your daughter’s problems. While a fight over matching backpacks may seem trivial to you, for her, it’s a big deal. If she comes to you upset about a friend, don’t brush her off—listen. A great response in these situations is: «I understand you’re upset. Tell me what happened?»

🤯 3. Stop Solving Everything for Her

Yes, it’s easier to pick out her jacket, sign her up for activities, and choose what goes in her lunchbox. But at 10, it’s time for her to start making decisions for herself. Start simple: let your daughter choose what to wear, how to decorate her space, and what to do in her free time. She needs to know that her opinion matters!

🚩 4. Never Criticize Her Appearance

It might seem obvious, but many parents still unintentionally hurt their daughters’ self-esteem. Even a passing comment like, «You should look neat because you’re a girl,» can sting.

If she asks, «Am I pretty?» try responding with: «What do you think?» or «You’re amazing, and it’s not just about how you look.» That said, it is still an area that may occupy her thoughts, so also think about suggesting, “Most of us feel better about ourselves when we practice self-care. What do you think would be good ways for you to do that?”

💳 5. Teach Financial Literacy

At 10, girls are old enough to start understanding how money works. Think about giving your daughter a small fixed allowance for the week and talk about how to manage it. Teach her how to save, make choices, and understand that money doesn’t appear out of nowhere.

🌸 6. Don’t Force «Girly» Hobbies on Her

Does she love cooking? Awesome. Is she into skateboarding? Fantastic!. Don’t limit her interests with ideas like «girls don’t do that.» Let her explore different activities, even if it’s coding, robotics, or soccer.

🤗 7. Teach Her How to Give Compliments (and Accept Them)

This is a key skill for building healthy relationships. If your daughter is shy about giving compliments or brushing them off when she receives them, discuss it. Start with simple compliments: praise her for her actions, teach her to notice the good in others, and encourage her to thank people for kind words. Encourage her to practice doing the same for others.

✅ 8. Explain Personal Boundaries

Her body, her things, and her emotions belong to her. If someone grabs her phone without asking, hugs her when she doesn’t want it, or asks uncomfortable questions, she can say «Stop.» Have this conversation regularly.

And most importantly, respect her boundaries yourself! Never read her diary, never laugh at her feelings, and don’t force her to hug relatives «just because.»

🚫 9. Teach Her to Say «No»

«No» is a boundary, too. Teach your daughter to use this powerful word not just for safety (which, of course, comes first), but also in everyday situations:

• «No, I don’t want to go just because everyone else is going.»
• «No, I don’t want to join that challenge.»
• «No, I won’t take on everyone else’s responsibility—I’m not the only one involved.»

This is an important skill that will help her avoid pressure and toxic relationships in the future. Notice that the examples include the “why.” This is helpful as it gives the person on the receiving end less reason to keep pushing.

🧘🏻‍♀️ 10. Show Her That Self-Care Isn’t Selfish

Teach your daughter to listen to her body: if she’s tired, she needs rest; if she’s upset, she should talk about it; if someone crosses her boundaries, she needs to speak up. One of the most important lessons to instill in her from an early age: taking care of yourself is crucial and necessary. You’re the only one of you you’ve got!

References:

1. 10 Parenting Tips for Preteens and Tweens. Child Mind Institute
2. Positive Parenting Tips: Middle Childhood (9–11 years old). Cdc.gov
3. Stern, R., & Elias, M. J. (2007). Emotionally intelligent parenting. Educating People to be Emotionally Intelligent, pp. 37–48. Westport, CT: Praeger Publishers

Cover image: A.Ozerova/Shutterstock.com

Время на прочтение: 3 минут(ы)

Raising a 10-year-old boy isn’t just about making sure he’s fed, makes it to school, and is dressed appropriately for the weather—it’s about helping him understand himself, the world, and the people around him. How can you do this without endless lectures and power struggles? Here are some tried-and-true parenting hacks.

✅ 1. Listen More, Talk Less

At this age, kids start forming their own opinions. If you constantly cut your son off with “I know better” or “Just do as I say,” he might stop communicating with you altogether. Show him that his thoughts matter, even if they sometimes sound a little naive.

🤓 2. Explain and Negotiate

A simple “Because I said so” doesn’t cut it anymore. Your son needs to understand why he should do something. “You have to be home by 9 pm” won’t be as effective as “I worry when you’re out after dark because it’s not always safe.” The more logical your reasoning, the less pushback you’ll get.

⏰ 3. Get Him Involved in Household Chores

Ten is the perfect age to start teaching, and expecting, responsibility—cleaning his room, loading the dishwasher, or cooking simple meals. The trick? Don’t make chores feel like punishment. Instead of a boring to-do list, make it fun: pick a day to cook something new together, or assign your son an “important mission” like watering the plants. This builds both responsibility and confidence—where he knows “I’m a valuable part of the family!”

🤗 4. Do Things Together!

Instead of giving life lessons in a serious, formal sit-down talk, try bonding over board games, fixing a bike, or watching and discussing movies. Kids are much more likely to open up during shared activities than when they’re ordered, “Come here, we need to talk.”

💡 5. Let Him Try New Things—and Possibly Fail

If your son wants to play soccer today and quits after a month, that’s fine. Changing interests at 10 is normal—he’s figuring out who he is. Support his experiments, even if they seem like passing fads to you. That said, it can be expensive and disruptive to others to quit mid-season, so look for ways he can try out interests before fully committing.

🗣 6. Don’t Be the «Morality Police»

Ten-year-old boys sometimes test boundaries by talking back, using odd words (and yes, that can include profanity), or trying to act older than they are. That doesn’t mean he’s “on the wrong path.” Instead of shutting it down with strict rules, talk about where these behaviors come from and what he hopes to gain from them. Help him find more positive replacements.

💨 7. Allow Him to Argue

Disagreeing isn’t rudeness—it’s actually a life skill! Sure, it’s tempting to shut things down with a firm “Don’t talk back!”—but will that help him when he’s an adult? Healthy debates teach boy to express his opinions and will show him that his voice matters. The key is to help him argue and debate respectfully and calmly.

💁🏻‍♀️ 8. Own Up to Your Mistakes

If you lost your temper, punished your son unfairly, or overreacted, apologize. It won’t make you seem weak; in fact, it will show him that making mistakes is normal and that respect is a two-way street. Bonus: you’re helping him by modeling how to apologize appropriately as well!

🤝 9. Teach Conflict Resolution Without Physical Fighting

Kids deal with misunderstandings all the time. Your job is to teach your son when to stand his ground and when to let things go. Instead of saying, “Just hit back!” try, “Ask him directly what’s wrong” or “Tell him how that made you feel.”

😥 10. Never Shut Down His Emotions

“Boys don’t cry” is an outdated stereotype that does more harm than good. By 10, kids can recognize their feelings but don’t always know how to handle them. Instead of saying, “Stop whining,” try, “You seem upset—let’s figure out what’s really bothering you.” Journaling is also a great way for kids to process their feelings.

References:

1. 10 Parenting Tips for Preteens and Tweens. Child Mind Institute
2. Positive Parenting Tips: Middle Childhood (9–11 years old). Cdc.gov
3. Stern, R., & Elias, M. J. (2007). Emotionally intelligent parenting. Educating People to be Emotionally Intelligent, pp. 37–48. Westport, CT: Praeger Publishers

Cover image: wavebreakmedia/Shutterstock