Автор: Dr. Lilla McManis

Время на прочтение: 2 минут(ы)

Between the ages of 7 and 11, kids start gaining more independence. They begin navigating not just family rules, but also school and social expectations. If your child is suddenly pushing boundaries or being defiant, it’s not a sign that something is “wrong”—it’s their way of figuring out how consistent and reliable the adults around them are. In other words, they’re testing boundaries and exploring their connection with you.

🚷 Why Kids Test Boundaries

Children in this age range are no longer little kids, but not quite tweens either. They begin taking risks, breaking small rules, arguing more, and trying things their own way. At the same time, they still deeply need their parents’ love and presence.

What may seem like defiance is often a way of asking, “Will Mom still love me if I mess up?”

Boundary-testing helps a child feel secure. It’s their way of checking whether they’re still safe and accepted, even when they’re not perfect. It’s an essential part of building self-esteem and emotional resilience.

🤭 How Boundary Testing Shows Up

Every child does this a little differently. Some examples:

• They argue back: “Why should I?”—and closely watch how you respond
• They “forget” the rules: “Oops, I didn’t know…”
• They do the opposite of what you asked, just to see what happens
• They ask why others can do something, but they can’t
• They procrastinate or pretend they’re tired: “I’ll do it later” or “In a minute…”
• They ignore your requests or pretend not to hear
• They compare you to other adults

And sometimes, they’ll slam a door, talk back, or dig in their heels. All of this is developmentally normal. At this age, your child is starting to understand that they’re their own person—distinct from you as their parent.

🧘🏻 How to Respond as a Parent

When a child argues, gets upset, or pushes your buttons, they’re not being manipulative—they’re trying to cope with something that feels difficult or confusing.

As a parent, your role is to stay calm and steady. You don’t need to control everything, but your child still needs to feel that you’re in charge and that you care.

What can help:

• Stay calm. You don’t have to be right all the time—you just need to be a safe, steady adult.
• Acknowledge your child’s feelings, while gently reinforcing the rule: “I can see you’re upset. But the rule still stands.”
• Separate wants from needs. You don’t have to give in, but you also don’t have to ignore their emotions.
• Offer choices within limits. Instead of “Do this now”, try: “Would you rather do it now or after dinner?”

Your child isn’t acting out because they’re “bad”—they’re growing up. And the more calmly and clearly you can hold the line—without fear, without anger, and without giving up—the more your child learns that they can rely on you, no matter what. And that’s how confidence grows.

References:

• The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child’s Developing Mind, Daniel J. Siegel, Tina Payne Bryson, 2011
• Issues and challenges in studying parental control: Toward a new conceptualization, Child Development Perspectives, 2009
• Antecedents and outcomes of self-determination in 3 life domains: The role of parents’ and teachers’ autonomy support, Journal of Youth and Adolescence, 2005

Время на прочтение: 2 минут(ы)

The teenage years are a time of intense internal change. Everything is shifting—body, emotions, thinking. To figure out who they are, teens need distance—physically and emotionally. And sometimes, that means conflict, arguing, and pushing people away.

Testing boundaries isn’t about destroying your relationship. It’s their way of finding a sense of stability inside themselves.

🤦‍♀️ Why Teens Start Acting This Way

The teenage brain is still developing—especially the prefrontal cortex, which helps with self-control, planning, and thinking before acting. That’s why your teen may snap, lash out, or get angry fast.

It’s not that they don’t love you. It’s just that their brain can’t always hit the brakes when emotions take over.

Now add hormonal changes, adolescent egocentrism (where teens feel everyone is looking at and judging them), social pressure, and a deep need to understand who they are—and you’ve got a young person who’s desperate to figure out their identity, limits, and who they can really rely on.

🚷 How Teens Test Boundaries

Boundary-testing in teens can look very different from one day to the next. Sometimes it’s an open argument. Other times, silence.

But behind that sharpness, there’s often a hidden question: “Will you still be there for me—even if I’m not who you want me to be at this moment?”

How it can show up:

• Arguing or insisting on their point of view—often with sarcasm or rule-breaking
• Withdrawing, ignoring, shutting down
• Breaking agreements—coming home late, forgetting promises and commitments
• Acting out—skipping school, showing up late on purpose
• Publicly distancing themselves from you
• Trying out new looks, habits, and friend groups

💪 What Can Help You as a Parent

Adolescence is a time of separation—from parents emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically. At the heart of it is this question: “Do you love me, even when I’m not easy to love?”

Your job isn’t to win the argument—it’s to protect the relationship. Teens who feel safe and supported are better equipped to make healthy decisions during this intense period. They are also more likely to have higher self-confidence because they feel more comfortable “in their own skin”.

What helps most is being the adult your teen can lean on:

• Don’t focus on being “right”—focus on being present
• Offer choices, not ultimatums
• Ask open-ended questions and be willing to hear hard answers
• Know the difference between boundaries and control
• Respect their need for space—but stay emotionally close
• Stay calm, even when emotions get messy
• Keep the connection alive, even when they pull away
• Don’t turn every conversation into a lecture
• Avoid guilt, manipulation, and yelling

You don’t have to agree with everything. You don’t even have to approve. But your teen needs to know they’re heard. And when you can say “I love you, even when I’m angry”, you’re giving them something powerful: a foundation that lasts.

Testing boundaries doesn’t mean your teen is drifting away—it means they’re trying to find their way. Your steadiness, calmness, and love are what help them through. And if it feels like too much sometimes, reaching out to a therapist can be a great next step—for you or your teen.

References:

• Lecture “Brainstorm: The Power and Purpose of the Teenage Brain”, Dr. Dan Siegel, YouTube, 2016
• Cognitive and affective development in adolescence, Trends in Cognitive Sciences, 2005
• Adolescent–Parent Conflict: Resistance and Subversion as Developmental Process, Judith G. Smetana, 2005

Время на прочтение: 3 минут(ы)

Your child isn’t listening? There could be many reasons, but in many cases, it comes down to how discipline is handled. Let’s look at some common parenting mistakes that might make it harder for your child to hear you out, make better choices, and follow through.

🤔 1. Inconsistency

One day, there’s one rule. The next day—it changes. Or the rule stays the same, but parents break it themselves.

When rules are changed or canceled without explanation, it’s hard for a child to understand what’s expected. Rules start to feel random or temporary—so there’s no compelling reason to follow them.

What can help: Set clear, fair, and consistent rules. If something needs to change, talk about it together and explain why.

🗣️ 2. Yelling and Threats

Sometimes, when we feel overwhelmed or lose control, we resort to yelling or issuing threats to make our child behave.

But yelling isn’t a tool—it’s an emotional outburst. It can frighten a child and undermine their ability to understand what went wrong.

Threats have a similar effect. They create anxiety and fear of losing love and support, but don’t teach responsibility.

Sure, yelling or saying, “If you ever do that again…” might work in the moment. But it won’t help long-term—and it can damage your connection with your child.

What can help: Stay calm but firm. Instead of yelling, say just a few words. Instead of threatening, use natural consequences. For example: “If you don’t turn off the tablet now, there won’t be enough time to play before dinner.”

🖼 3. Lack of Boundaries

Gentle parenting is growing in popularity—fewer punishments, no harsh rules, more respect and communication.

But if a child decides on their own bedtime, whether to do chores, or how to speak to adults—that’s not gentle parenting anymore. That’s being overly permissive and stepping away from your role as a parent.

Kids need, and actually want, boundaries. Boundaries help them feel safe and learn what’s okay and what’s not. Without boundaries, kids get confused and test limits on their own.

What can help: Create clear rules and stick to them. For example: “You can choose what to play, but at 9:00 p.m., we’re done for the day—you have school tomorrow.” Boundaries help kids feel safe and develop self-control.

👿 4. Public Discipline

Making a comment in front of grandma or friends might feel harmless, but it can actually hurt your child’s self-esteem.

They might feel ashamed, embarrassed, and stop listening altogether. What could be a moment of learning turns into a mile of distance.

What can help: Talk things through privately. Even if you’re angry, try to respect your child’s emotional space.

🤝 5. Little Meaningful Dialogue

Saying “Because I said so” doesn’t teach discipline or build trust. If kids can’t discuss the rules, they don’t understand their purpose—so they don’t see why they should follow them.

What can help: Involve your child in the conversation. Ask what they think. It doesn’t mean giving in—it means showing that their opinion matters. When a child understands the “why” behind a rule, they’re more likely to follow it with intention.

We’re all learning how to be parents—growing along with our kids and making mistakes along the way.

Helping your child listen often means building stronger discipline practices. But discipline isn’t about perfect rules—it’s about trust, flexibility, and respect.

In future posts, we’ll share more reasons why your child might not be responding—and what can help. And remember: if something’s not working, it doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. It just means there’s another way. And you’ve got this.

References:

• How to Discipline Your Child the Smart and Healthy Way, UNICEF Parenting Hub
• Effective discipline to raise healthy children, Pediatrics, 2018
• Adolescents, families, and social development: How teens construct their worlds, APA PsycNet, 2011

Время на прочтение: 3 минут(ы)

Kids who can understand the feelings of others are less likely to lie. That’s the conclusion reached by the authors of a study published in the Journal of Experimental Child Psychology in 2024. This has to do with a child’s ability to imagine how a lie might affect someone else. This skill is called cognitive empathy—and it can be developed.

🤗 What Is Cognitive Empathy and How Does It Work?

Cognitive empathy is the ability to think about and understand what another person is feeling and to imagine yourself in their place. It’s not just about feeling sorry for someone—it’s about seeing the situation through their eyes.

For example, if your child tells you they were hurt by someone, cognitive empathy helps you not only feel their pain but also understand why they’re reacting that way.

Sometimes, cognitive empathy is confused with emotional empathy. Emotional empathy is the ability to feel what someone else is feeling—to “catch” their emotions, so to speak. For example, when your child is crying, you might feel sad too or even start crying with them.

Both types of empathy are important, but it’s cognitive empathy that helps kids understand the consequences of their actions—and that’s what makes them lie less often.

🤥 ‍Why Kids With Empathy Are Less Likely to Lie

As kids develop empathy, they start to realize that lying can hurt others or lead to problems. And that becomes important to them.

Carol Brady, PhD in clinical psychology from Walden University, recommends talking to kids in a way that helps them feel safe being honest—and reminding them that they don’t have to be perfect all the time.

You can say something like: “I’m going to ask you something, and maybe you’ll tell me something I won’t like very much. But remember: what you do doesn’t change how much I love you. I love you no matter what, and everyone makes mistakes. That’s why I want you to think carefully and give me an honest answer.”
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When you give your child space to reflect on these words, they’re more likely to tell you the truth.

Keep reminding your child that you love them no matter what—and create an environment where they don’t feel afraid to be honest.

💙 How to Help Your Kid Develop Empathy

The skill of cognitive empathy develops with age and involves the prefrontal cortex—the part of the brain responsible for complex thinking. Cognitive empathy is one of the things that still sets us apart from robots (for now!).

Here’s what can help your child better understand others:

• Work on emotional intelligence. This is the ability to understand and manage our emotions, as well as recognize and respond appropriately to the emotions of others. It is closely connected to cognitive empathy.
• Books and programs that teach kids to recognize and understand their own emotions—and the emotions of others—can help strengthen this skill.
• Read fiction. Immersing themselves in stories and characters helps kids see the world through different eyes in a variety of situations—and that builds empathy. You can read to your child if younger, or read the same book as your older child or teen, and then have discussions to expand their empathy skills.
• Practice active listening. Learning to listen carefully and ask clarifying questions helps kids understand others’ thoughts and feelings better. Empathy is a key component of active listening as it promotes deeper connections, understanding, and effective communication. When parents model active listening, it becomes easier for kids to figure out their feelings, too.

Want to give these tips a try? At Findmykids, we believe you’ve got this—and we’re here to support you every step of the way. And if not right away—that’s okay. Cognitive empathy takes time to develop.

References:

• Why Kids Lie and What Parents Can Do About It, Child Mind Institute, 2025
• Cognitive empathy boosts honesty in children and young adolescents, Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, 2024

Cover image: Alex Uksta/Shutterstock

Время на прочтение: 3 минут(ы)

You might have noticed that younger kids often fantasize and mix up what’s real and imagined. They still have limited cognitive development in distinguishing between truth and fiction. This can show up as something they want to be true and something that actually happened, or doing something wrong but wishing they hadn’t.

As they mature—around ages 7 to 9—lying starts to take on a different meaning. At this age, kids already understand what honesty is, but sometimes they still choose not to share something or to make up a lie. In this article, we explore why this happens and how to support your child in these moments.

📊 What Research Says

Studies show that by ages 7–9, kids don’t just fantasize anymore—they start planning details and crafting untruths, or lies, to make them sound believable. They take into account what the other person knows and can even anticipate their reaction.

🔑 Why Kids Hide the Truth

At this stage, kids begin to understand that the same fact can be seen in different ways. They realize that words can not only describe reality but also change how others perceive it.

What we’ve learned from studies and from working closely with families shows that kids aged 7–9 may lie for different reasons.

• To avoid punishment: “If I tell the truth, I’ll get scolded.”
• Out of fear of disappointing their parents: “I don’t want Mum to get upset.”
• To test boundaries: “What will happen if I lie?”
• To play with the idea of a “secret world.” Their sense of personal space is forming: “This is my secret; I don’t want to share it.”
• Imitating adults. Kids hear adults bend the truth—“Say ‘I’m not home”—and start copying that.
• To appear better in the eyes of adults or friends.

✅ How to Respond in the Best Way

Kids at this age don’t lie because they’re “bad” or because you’ve done something wrong—they’re learning how to live in a complex world. It’s important to help them see that honesty makes the world better and will help them personally feel better, too. When you react calmly, a child starts seeing truth not as a threat, but as a way of communicating that builds respect and trust.

Here’s what we’ve found helpful—and what you might try too:

• Stay calm when you finally hear the truth. Instead of “How could you lie to your parents?” you could say, “Thank you for being honest. I understand how hard it was to tell me, but it’s important for me to know the truth so I can help you.”
• Help them sort through their feelings and recognize emotions: “Were you scared I’d get angry? Let’s think about what else you could have done.” And keep in mind, if you did get angry, apologize to your child.
• Explain the consequences of lying: “When you lie, it’s hard for me to trust you. Trust means we can tell each other the truth and not be afraid”.
• Praise honesty, even when the truth is unpleasant: “Thank you for telling me. That means a lot to me.”
• Show that making mistakes is okay: “Even if you do something wrong, I still love you. What matters more is that we’re honest with each other.” And if you make a mistake, own up to it—modeling is powerful.

🌱 Remember: your child is learning how to tell the truth and you are one of their primary teachers. When we help kids feel safe, their need to lie often fades away. Your calmness and support will teach them not to be afraid to be themselves.

References:

• Cognitive empathy boosts honesty in children and young adolescents, Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, 2024
• Lying and truth-telling in children: From concept to action, Child Development, 2010
• Lying in the elementary school years: Verbal deception and its relation to second-order belief understanding, Developmental Psychology, 2007

Время на прочтение: 2 минут(ы)

We know teens rarely lie without a reason. Unlike younger kids, their lying is often linked to a desire to set boundaries, protect themselves, or fit in with a group. Understanding these reasons can help you support your teen and build trust.

📊 What Research Says

At this age, lying becomes more complex and intentional. The reasons are often tied to identity, personal boundaries, and the need to feel part of a group.

Studies show that teens see lying as justified when it helps protect their boundaries. They’re also more likely to lie if they believe they won’t get caught.

🔑 Why Teens Hide the Truth—and What Parents Can Do

As kids grow up, they may naturally become less open with their parents. You might feel like your teen is hiding something or avoiding conversations, but this is part of growing up and becoming an independent person in control of their own life. Lying during adolescence often has a reason directly tied to this.

Teens lie because:

They Want to Protect Their Personal Space

At this age, teens value their privacy more and may hide things to avoid too much control.

What you can do: Respect their boundaries: “I understand there are things you want to keep to yourself. But I’m always here to listen, and I’m here if you need me.” Teens have the right to their secrets (as long as they are not harmful). Agree on important rules, but don’t pressure them.

They Want to Be Independent

Sometimes, teens lie to get around restrictions. For example, they might say they’re going to a friend’s house but actually head to a party.

What you can do: Set and explain the rules: “I get that you want freedom, but my job is to keep you safe.”

They Want to Be Part of a Group

Teens may lie to fit in or protect their friends. For example, they might hide the truth so they don’t let a friend down or reveal someone else’s secret.

What you can do: Talk about friendship: “If a friend asks you to lie, think about whether they’re putting you in a tough spot.”

They’re Experimenting With Identity

Lying can be part of figuring out who they are—trying on different roles and versions of themselves. For instance, saying they’ve always been a fan of a particular band when they know little about the group—they’re just experimenting with being a metalhead.

What you can do: Support your teen in this process: “I understand you’re trying to figure out who you are. Just remember I’m always here.”

They’re Afraid of Being Judged

Teens may hide failures to avoid criticism from adults or peers. For example, they may say they did okay on a big test when in reality they failed, but the teacher let them retake it and they just squeaked by to pass.

What you can do: Create a space where your teen feels safe telling the truth: “You can tell me anything. I’m not here to judge.”

Teens don’t lie to be difficult or because they’re “bad”—they’re trying to find their place in the world. Show them that honesty strengthens them, and always praise them when they tell the truth.

References:

• Cognitive empathy boosts honesty in children and young adolescents, Journal of Experimental Child Psychology, 2024
• Development of children’s reasoning and self-reported use of secrets and lies, Child Development, 2017
• Lying in the name of the collective good: A developmental study, Developmental Science, 2008
• To lie or not to lie: To whom and under what circumstances, Child Development, 2007

Время на прочтение: 4 минут(ы)

Teenagers love to test boundaries. With hormones running wild and the world feeling like an endless playground, peer approval often takes priority over common sense. In their search for self-expression and adrenaline, they sometimes push the limits a little too far—into territory where one mistake can be life-threatening.

Let’s dive into the risky hobbies that are trending among teens, why they’re drawn to them, and how to guide their energy in a safer direction.

⚠️ Who’s Most at Risk?

Short answer: all teens.

As a group, adolescents are more likely than younger kids or adults to embrace uncertainty if there is a reward. One of the most powerful is related to a neurotransmitter in the brain called dopamine—often called the ‘feel-good’ hormone. This is the ‘reward’ teens get when physically pushing boundaries or getting positive feedback from peers. And it’s a strong motivator!
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We also should keep in mind that the more advanced area of the brain called the prefrontal cortex matures last—in fact it’s not fully developed until age 25! This is related to executive function, which is closely tied to decision-making. It’s responsible for regulating behavioral responses. And finally, it’s aligned with logical thinking and since it’s still developing, emotions often are first in line for what drives teens during risk-taking.

But if we look closer, some groups are especially likely to seek out risky activities as a form of self-assertion:

• Overprotected kids. If every step is monitored, sooner or later, many will make a sharp turn toward freedom—often in extreme ways.
• Kids craving attention. Sometimes, dangerous hobbies become a way of shouting to parents and friends, “Hey, I exist!”
• Teens chasing fame. Social media turns thrill-seekers into TikTok stars. The higher the risk, the more views. And to an impressionable teen brain, a “heroic” death caught on video might seem… epic.
• A group of daredevils. A teen might not climb a 25-story rooftop alone, but if a friend dares them? Saying no could mean social disaster—at least it feels that way!

Now, let’s talk specifics. What hobbies actually lure kids into dangerous situations?

1. Rooftopping (Climbing Buildings)

Climbing onto a rooftop feels romantic and harmless—panoramic views, warm breezes, the perfect sunset pic… until one wrong step turns the adventure into tragedy. It gets even riskier when teens start racing along ledges, jumping between buildings, or taking selfies on narrow beams.

👉 Safer Alternatives:

• Rock climbing—same adrenaline rush, but with a harness and an instructor.
• Scenic observation decks with safe railings for those breathtaking views.

2. Skywalking (Balancing on Skyscrapers)

Skywalking takes rooftopping to the next level. It’s not just about getting onto the roof—it’s about walking the edge, hopping between structures, and filming it all without safety gear.

👉 Safer Alternatives:

• Indoor climbing gyms or supervised rope jumping.
• VR height simulations—just as thrilling, minus the danger.

3. Parkour (Extreme Jumps & Tricks)

Parkour is an impressive sport requiring serious physical skill. But without proper training and the right environment, it turns into an accident waiting to happen.

👉 Safer Alternatives:

• Join a parkour academy where training is done with safety measures.
• Try freerunning—a mix of parkour, dance, and acrobatics in a controlled setting.
• Trampoline parks—perfect for practicing jumps and tricks safely.

4. Train Surfing (Riding on the Outside of Trains)

Every year, teens are seriously injured or killed while trying to ride outside of moving trains. Some do it to save money, but for most, it’s about speed, danger, and proving they’re the toughest in the group.

👉  Safer Alternatives:

• Ropes courses—climbing at a height, but with harnesses.
• Go-kart racing—same speed thrill, much less risk.

5. Urban Exploring (Abandoned Buildings & Tunnels)

Exploring abandoned sites feels like stepping into a real-life horror movie. But instead of ghosts, these places are full of real dangers—unstable structures, toxic gases, and, sometimes, sketchy individuals living as squatters.

👉 Safer Alternatives:

• Guided tours of historic underground sites.
• Volunteer search-and-rescue programs—real exploration with safety measures.
• Escape rooms—just as thrilling, but zero life-threatening risks.

6. Dangerous Social Media Challenges

TikTok is the breeding ground for some of the wildest (and dumbest) trends. “Try to choke yourself with a belt on camera,” “Swallow a spoonful of cinnamon without coughing,” “Jump onto subway tracks and climb back before the train arrives” — every year, new viral challenges emerge, and some take lives.

👉 Safer Alternatives:

• Teach critical thinking—discuss trends and their consequences.
• Encourage participation in challenges that are actually fun and beneficial—sports, dance, trivia.
• If they crave online fame, help your teen start a blog on travel, books, or science experiments (but safe ones!).

How to Keep Your Teen Safe

1. Don’t just ban—explain. Outright prohibitions only make things more tempting. Instead, talk about the risks and consequences.
2. Find a safe alternative. The goal isn’t to suppress their need for excitement but to redirect it into safer activities.
3. Help them with self-expression. If they crave recognition, guide them toward hobbies that bring real achievement rather than flirting with disaster.
4. Give them some freedom. The more a teen feels trusted and heard, the less they’ll need to prove their independence through reckless behavior.
5. Still, keep an eye on them. Even with these suggestions, teens might still find themselves in tricky situations. By staying connected, you will be there to support them as they navigate their adolescent years and the call of risk.

Teens will always push limits, seek adventure, and test their own courage. It’s a part of growing up—becoming independent and exploring who they are as a person. Our job isn’t to shut that down, but to help them find outlets that satisfy their need for excitement, self-expression, and recognition—without putting their lives at risk.

References

1. The Science Behind Adolescent Risk Taking and Exploration. UCLA Center for the Developing Adolescent.
2. Balocchini, E., & Chiamenti, G. (2013). Adolescents: which risks for their life and health? Journal of Preventive Medicine and Hygiene, 54(4), 191-194.

Время на прочтение: 3 минут(ы)

Books can provide a fantastic safe space for kids to delve into different perspectives, ask questions, and reflect on their own beliefs, thoughts, and feelings. Books about puberty and growing up aren’t a clumsy substitute for an honest talk with your child—but they are a great tool to support and continue that important conversation. Here are five great reads for parents and boys entering adolescence.

1. Guy Stuff: The Body Book for Boys by Cara Natterson

This book is a perfect first introduction to body changes, puberty, and self-care. Written by a pediatrician, it’s approachable, informative, and easy to read together with parents, starting around age 9. There’s also a version for girls by the same author, The Care and Keeping of You, which has become a classic on the topic.

2. Growing Up Great!: The Ultimate Puberty Book for Boys by Scott Todnem

Scott Todnem, a national health educator of the year, wrote this book as a practical, easy-to-understand guide for boys navigating the physical and emotional changes of puberty. It’s packed with clear explanations, engaging illustrations, and real-life advice to help boys feel more confident about growing up.

3. Just for Boys: A Book About Growing Up by Matt Crossick

This well-rated book is designed as a conversation starter between kids and their parents. It covers everything from hygiene and body image to emotions and relationships, offering boys a reassuring and positive perspective on growing up.

4. The Boys’ Body Book: Everything You Need to Know for Growing Up! by Kelli Dunham

This bestselling guide walks boys through the journey of adolescence with humor and honesty. It addresses common questions about puberty, emotions, friendships, and even social challenges, making it a great all-in-one resource for growing boys.

5. Dating and Relationships: A Guide for Teens and Young Adults by Jay McGraw

Understanding relationships and emotions is just as important as understanding body changes. This book helps boys navigate their first crushes, friendships, and personal boundaries while encouraging healthy and respectful relationships.

These books provide valuable guidance and reassurance for both kids and parents. Growing up can be confusing, but the right resources can make the journey a little smoother.

Bonus Tip: Your son may act a bit mortified when you offer books like this to him (especially from moms), so play it cool. Let him know up front you understand, but it’s just one more way you’ve got his back.

References:

1. Why Do Kids Need Books? The National Book and Literacy Alliance. 

Время на прочтение: 2 минут(ы)

Remember your first sleepover at a friend’s house? Maybe you stayed up late watching a scary movie, eating chips, and talking non-stop. Or you listened to music, devoured ice cream, and shared secrets. Either way, it was probably, if not amazing, at least pretty fun.

But the moment your own child asks to have a sleepover at a friend’s house, everything changes. Suddenly, nostalgia is replaced by anxiety, stress, and a million what-ifs. It’s completely normal to worry about your child, but their desire for independence is just as natural; and necessary.

We spoke with psychologist Dr. Lilla Dale McManis to get expert advice on how to let your child go to a sleepover without turning into a helicopter parent who texts every five minutes out of sheer panic.

🤷 What If Something Goes Wrong?…

Every parent wants to be perfect—to anticipate every risk and keep things under control. So when your child asks to sleep over at a friend’s house for the first time, your brain likely goes into overdrive:

• “What if something goes wrong?”
• “What if they feel uncomfortable?”
• “What if something happens that I can’t control?”

If these thoughts sound familiar, congratulations—you’re already a caring, responsible parent. You’re thinking about safety, trust, and boundaries, and that’s a good thing! But it’s also important to ask yourself: Is this about real concerns for my child’s safety, or is it my own fear of them growing up?

Let’s break it down step by step.

⁉️ What to Consider Before Saying Yes to a Sleepover

✔ Is Your Child Ready?

• Do they actually want this, or are they just going along with it because “everyone else is doing it”?
• Do you trust them to make good decisions and choices?
• Can they confidently say “no” if something makes them uncomfortable?

✔ Do You Trust the Family They’re Staying With?

• Do you know them well?
• Are they attentive and willing to text or call you if needed?
• What are their house rules and safety practices? Do they align with yours?

✔ What Exactly Are You Afraid Of?

• Are these real risks or just hypothetical worries?
• Would it really be a disaster if your child doesn’t get enough sleep or watches Squid Game at midnight?
• What’s the absolute worst-case scenario you’re imagining?

📝 How to Manage Anxiety and Ensure a Safe Experience

• Set expectations: Talk with your child about how often they should check in, what time they’ll go to sleep, and any house rules they need to follow.
• Have a Plan B: Let them know they can call you anytime, no questions asked, and you’ll also come get them if they feel uncomfortable.
• Start small: Invite their friend over first, meet the parents, and observe how the kids interact.

A child’s first sleepover isn’t just about their independence—it’s about yours, too. It’s about trust, boundaries, and growth—not just for them, but for you as well.

It’s completely normal for parents to feel uneasy as their child becomes more independent. But separation is a key part of healthy development—it helps kids become confident, capable adults.

So, instead of letting worry take over and ruin this moment of one more step to growing up, find ways to manage your own anxiety without making it your child’s problem. And while they’re off making their own childhood memories, take the opportunity to enjoy a quiet, kid-free evening—you probably don’t get enough of those!

References:

1. Nervous about your kid’s first sleepover, Mama? Mother.ly
2. How To Know When Your Kid Is Ready For a Sleepover. Parents.com

Время на прочтение: 3 минут(ы)

Acne is extremely common. About 85% of young people between the ages of 12 and 24 experience acne. How can you support your child and help them find the right skincare routine? Let’s break it down.

“You’re Not Alone”: The Most Important Thing Is Support

Acne isn’t just about skin—it can take a toll on self-esteem and lead to insecurity. Some teens may start avoiding social interactions or feeling embarrassed about their appearance. That’s why emotional support is key.

While acne isn’t a life-threatening condition, it can leave both physical and emotional scars. Remind your child that this phase is temporary and that they’re not alone in facing it.

How to Support Your Teen:

• Listen without judgment. Show that you’re sensitive to what they’re going through and reassure them that acne is completely normal. Share your own experiences if relevant.
• Help with skincare. Choose the right products together (a visit to a dermatologist is highly recommended!).
• Encourage a healthy lifestyle. It benefits not only their skin but also their overall well-being.
• Be patient. Acne treatment takes time, and results aren’t instant—remind your child to stick with it.

Why Does Acne Happen?

Credit: porterranchacne.com

Teen acne is a natural result of changes in the body during puberty.

Main Causes:

• Hormones. Rising androgen levels trigger excess oil production.
• Genetics. If you had acne as a teen, your child is more likely to experience it too.
• Skin oil imbalance. This creates an ideal environment for bacteria.

Essentially, the pores and tiny hair follicles get clogged and the oils can’t escape. Due to gender differences in the timing of puberty, the average girl will develop acne at about 11 while for boys this can be closer to age 13.

What Can Make Acne Worse?

• A diet high in sugar and greasy foods
• Stress and lack of sleep
• Using the wrong skincare products

How to Get Rid of Acne?

A great first step is to consult a dermatologist. They’ll assess the severity of acne and recommend treatment, which may include:

• Topical treatments (creams, gels, or prescription medications)
• Dermatological procedures (facials, peels)
• A consistent skincare routine (gentle cleansing and moisturizing daily)

Many teens want a “magic fix” to clear their acne overnight. As a parent, remind them that patience and consistency are key—only by following a specialist’s advice regularly will they achieve clear skin.

✔ Acne Prevention & Daily Skincare Tips

• Wash the face twice a day with a mild cleanser—avoid harsh scrubs.
• Use a lightweight, oil-free moisturizer labeled for acne-prone skin.
• Avoid touching the face to prevent bacterial spread.
• Do not pop pimples—this can cause inflammation and scarring.
• Adjust the diet:
  • Cut back on sugar, fast food, and greasy meals.
  • Some teens see improvements by reducing dairy—try eliminating it for a couple of weeks.
  • Eat more vegetables, fruits, and foods rich in omega-3s.
• Use over-the-counter acne treatments with salicylic acid or benzoyl peroxide. Remind your teen to follow the directions, as overuse Manage stress through exercise, walks, or meditation.
• Change pillowcases and towels weekly, or more if needed, to prevent bacteria buildup.

❌ Common Mistakes to Avoid

• Overwashing the face—this can dry out and irritate the skin.
• Using harsh scrubs or alcohol-based toners—they can cause inflammation.
• Not following directions for over-the-counter acne medications—over-application can cause dryness and peeling.
• Overusing makeup—stick to non-comedogenic products that won’t clog pores.

Acne is completely normal and not a reason to stress excessively. But keep in mind that because it matters to teens, it should be addressed with understanding by you. Instead of becoming overly anxious or upset, it’s an opportunity for teens to build healthy skincare habits. Support your teen, educate them on proper care and nutrition, and help them manage the emotional challenges that come with it.

And remember: Confidence is the real beauty!

References:

1. Dermatology: How to manage acne vulgaris. National Library of Medicine
2. What causes acne, and how do I treat it? UC Davis Health.